Free Bird

I just took a half an Ativan so that my afternoon at work would be smooth sailing. I felt like any more adversity might make me wear my frustration on the outside, and given the amount of frustration I'm feeling on the inside? Would be a bad scene.

This day is the day Kevin got out of jail, and I went there to see him when he got out. I took him home, fed him, gave him the mail that had arrived. His things included his state ID and some papers from the lawyers we retained for probate of my dad's estate. Kevin filled out the papers, had a little meal and a piece of chocolate cake, picked up a bicycle he had left at my place nearly a year ago, and made some calls.

He was able to secure a bed in a Salvation Army facility in Oakland beginning tomorrow, which means he needs to find a place to spend the night tonight. I drove him and his bicycle back downtown and wished him luck. I hope he makes it.

Ah, and the Ativan? Every now and then I have a little pill. I can't remember the last time I took one but I have a sense that the anxiety I felt all day would just build once I got to Frustrationville, which is work lately. The pill affects me by chilling me out extremely, to the point where I appear as if I didn't get any sleep the night before or I'm quite preoccupied, and I'm slow to react. This is the perfect response (in my opinion) to over-stimulation from anxiety and frustration. Rather than responding in a stressed way to the people who are stressing me out, I can just think things through and respond with equanimity like I normally do.

So we'll see how it goes. Good luck, Kevin. And here's to a short afternoon working!